


I Can't

by Otakufander



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I just cant tag, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, There's probably alot more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 02:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18540130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otakufander/pseuds/Otakufander
Summary: Virgil is going through a lot. Logan is there for him. This is a really trash summary.





	I Can't

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this a really long time ago and just never finished it. I looked back through a lot of my saved stuff and found this so I just finished it. The writing is complete trash. Most of what Virgil goes through is what I went through, I really have to stop bullying Virgil. Basically Virgil is me in this story, the only difference is that I'm head guard member not flute. Patton and Roman represent my sisters. Logan is a stand in for my uncle and my actual best friend of 14 years. The romance was just a spur of the moment thing, I am being clear that the romance part isn't based on my experiences. I hope I didn't ramble here too long and that you have a good read.

Virgil was STRESSED!! Not like normal Virgil stressed, but like complete mental breakdown stressed. School wasn't going the best, he'd bitten off more than he could chew with his new classes. He is a senior and college searching wasn’t going great. Being head flute in the marching band is stressful. Studying for his license test takes up time. And him a 17 year old has been left home to take care of his younger siblings Patton(15) and Roman(12) while his parents went to Pennsylvania to visit family, they couldn't go because they had school. 

The week had gone by without many bumps, until the night before their parents were supposed to get home, Virgil had a breakdown. Everything had grown to be to much.

He was sitting in his room crying silently. Patton walked in to ask if he was alright and hugged him. He then went back to vacuuming, Roman was upset that Virgil wasn't helping to clean, he just doesn't understand yet. Virgil called his best friend of 14 years Logan to calm him down. Logan always kept him grounded and helped him work through things. That's why he loves him. (Loves him? What?)  
~  
He was sitting in the band room on Friday getting ready for practice to start. The day had gone not as bad as normal and his spirits were higher than normal. Then he got a call from his Mom. 

“Hey mom, you two home yet?” Virgil asked when he picked up the phone in a slightly happier than normal tone. “Virgil I'm sorry but we won't be coming home for another few days. Please continue to take care of your brothers, you have been doing so well.” His mom said. “Wait what why? But you are supposed to take me to the college fair to check out schools tomorrow!” Virgil said upset. “I know honey and I'm sorry but we got into an accident on the way to the airport and missed our flight.” His mother explained. Virgil immediately went into panic mode. “What?! How?! Are you and Dad alright?! What about Aunt Christine and Uncle Keith, are they alright!?” Virgil said quickly. His friends and instructors were now looking at him with concern. “We are fine dear. However your Uncle’s truck was not so lucky. I'll send you a picture.” His mom reassured him. “Thank god. But the college fair is tomorrow. I need someone to take me. And I also have to get a white compression shirt for band tonight.” Virgil said starting to panic again. “I know sweety. Please calm down. Can't you get a ride? One of your friends has to have their license. Right?” His mom tried to calm him down. “Practice is gonna start soon. I'll try to get a ride.” Virgil said. “Ok honey we'll see you in a few days. Love you.” His mom said. “Love you too. Please be safe.” Virgil said hanging up the phone. 

Virgil's friends Thomas, Talyn, Joan, Valerie, and Terrence asked what was happening and if everything was alright. He explained everything to them and they were really worried about him. His instructor told him he could skip today and go home early to take care of his siblings. Virgil called Logan to ask him to pick him up, Logan has had his truck for a while. He got lucky because Logan was just leaving from the debate club and heading to his car. Logan was shocked when he heard the news, he offered to take Virgil to the college fair. He wasn't going to go originally because he knows where he wants to go, but now he has two reasons to go. 

Virgil called his brothers while he walked out the door to head over to Logan's truck. Patton said that they had already gotten the call and he also gave Virgil a bit of information that chilled him to the bone and gave him a panic attack. His Mom had purposely left out the fact, when talking to him, that it was a seven car pile up on a bridge and that is she wouldn't have been wearing her seatbelt like she usually doesn't she would have died. 

~

Logan drove around the side of the building in his navy blue pickup truck to where Virgil gets let out. He looked for Virgil a bit before he decided to call him. He heard the phone from around the side of the building so he walked around the side to find Virgil having a full blown panic attack.

“Virgil what's wrong!?” Logan asked worriedly running to his side. Virgil couldn't answer, he didn't even acknowledge that Logan was there. “Virgil I need you to breath with me ok? Virgil I need you to acknowledge me so I can help you. Virgil talk to me! VIRGIL!!!” The last shout brought Virgil out of his thoughts and forced him to look up into his friend's frightened face. “L-Lo?” Virgil stuttered out weakly. “I'm here Virgil. Focus on my voice, copy my breathing.” Logan said taking Virgil's hands in his. It took a while to calm Virgil down, Logan had helped him through a few attacks before, but not normally this bad. 

“T-thanks Lo.” Virgil said his voice and breathing still a bit shaky. “It's quite alright Virgil. What happened to cause you to have such a strong reaction?” Logan asked. Virgil went silent and curled in on himself tighter. “It's alright if you don't want to talk about it. Come on let's get you home.” Logan said with surprising softness, he was always that way with Virgil. “O-ok. Wait, Lo?” Virgil asked. “Yes Virgil?” Virgil explained what Patton had told him, everything that's going on and how stressed he was. 

Logan looked at him wide mouthed and shocked. Then he did something very un-Logan like, he launched himself forward and hugged Virgil tight. After the initial shock that Logan just pulled a Patton, Virgil held onto Logan and let a few excess tears fall. 

~

Back at Virgil's house Virgil grabbed some money and his siblings. They piled into Logan's truck and left to go to the mall, Virgil still needed to get a white long sleeve shirt for band. While Virgil and Logan got the shirt Patton and Roman went into the Halloween store that was open at the time. 

It took way to long for them to find the type of shirt Virgil needed. They finally found one at like the 5th store they tried. They practically ran back to the Halloween Store because they were pressed for time. It took a bit to find Roman and Patton. They found them by the masks, Roman was laughing hysterically because he had jump scared Patton with a werewolf mask, Patton was shaken up and crying a bit. Virgil comforted Patton and Logan scolded Roman before they all left. 

~

The next day, Virgil and Logan took the longish drive to the college fair mostly just talking and listening to music. They left Patton and Roman home alone but made sure at least one of their friends will pop in every hour to check on them. 

They got to the fair a bit late but that didn't really matter. They checked out all the schools they were interested, Logan of course asked a lot of questions (some the representatives couldn't answer, of course), and Virgil found a few new schools that he really liked and not that far from home too. 

When they finally started to head home it had gotten pretty late and started raining. They ran to the truck fast and got inside. It didn't matter how fast they ran they still got soaked. They dried off the best they could and started the drive home. 

~

When they got back to Virgil's house Logan decided to stick around for a while. It wasn't to late, he wasn't doing anything and he wanted to help Virgil out.  
It was getting late now. They had decided to watch a movie in Virgil's room, while Patton and Roman did who knows what in their rooms. They picked out Love Simon, they had not seen it yet but had heard great things about it. Virgil was relating to Simon hard. 

They had both been out of the closet for a few years at this point, Logan had come out to everyone at 14 and that gave Virgil the confident to do it at 15.

They were both just laying on Virgil's bed completely enamored in the movie. Virgil suddenly said out of nowhere “I really feel for Simon.” “Why?” Logan asked.  
“He's just trying to be accepted and trying to get the boy of his dreams.” Virgil said. “But everyone you know already accepts you.” Logan stated. “Yea but I mean the second one more than the first.” Virgil mumbled. “I suppose I understand, I seem to be in a similar position.” Logan said looking away. “Do you like anyone Logan?” Virgil asked. “I don't really understand my feelings for that individual but from what people have told me you could classify my feelings as a crush.” Logan said matter-of-factly. Virgil laughed. “Your such a disaster gay Logan” Virgil giggled out poking at Logan's ribs. “Not as much as you Virgil.” Logan said with a smile poking him back. 

They ended up in a poking match which turned into a tickle match soon after. Logan got the upper hand very quickly seeing as he's bigger than Virgil. It was only after the tickling and laughter faded out did Logan realize the position they were in. He had Virgil's hands pinned above his head and he was straddling him. Virgil quickly noticed the situation too but neither of them moved. Logan then said something unexpected. “Virgil would you allow me to conduct an experiment?” Logan asked unusually timid. “Um.. I guess so.” Virgil said sceptically. 

Logan closed the small distance between their lips. Virgil made a surprised noise and froze for a second, then he kissed back with surprising enthusiasm. They broke apart when they needed to breath. They looked at each other in shock and then happiness as they both realize what just happened. Logan was the first to speak “Does this mean that you reciprocate my feelings?” Logan asked. Virgil laughed “It better, if I didn't I wouldn't be here.” Virgil said gesturing to their intimate position. They then leaned back in for another more confident kiss this time. 

Just then, with what has to be perfect timing, Patton and Roman bursted into the room without knocking asking about dinner. They saw them and then ran out of the room closing the door. Roman yelled from the other side of the door “FUCKING FINALLY!!“ Patton yelled “IT'S ABOUT TIME!” They both ran down the hallway yelling about how they knew it, that they were so obvious and how their Mom owes their Dad $100.

Logan and Virgil just laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had a good read. A comment is always nice to know that you enjoyed yourself. Constructive criticism and pointing out mistakes is greatly appreciated.


End file.
